“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the Physician within you heals your sick self; therefore, trust the Physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity.” -Kahlil Gibran

With one day left in 2019, I am drawn into reflection of the lessons I’ve learned, one being that pain is by far one of the greatest motivators. I am wading in a river of gratitude for the tests, lessons, tears, and moments of confusion because they played a significant role in fine-tuning my intuition, decision-making skills, and cementing my standards in all aspects. The life of this not so average twenty-seven year-old consists of lighthearted fun, stress, successes, fails, and see-saw episodes between “fuck it” and “I don’t know what the fuck is going on; someone help me!”

The truth is, no one really knows what the fuck is going on. We are all leading lives based on calculated guesses, maybes, and “hopefullys”, accompanied by an innate desire to belong. We crave to hold residence in spaces where we do not question the validity and value of our existence, seeking participation in communities that allow us to attain the highest level of self-actualization possible. So what do we do? We take chances on ourselves. We wear our gifts and talents on our sleeves and grovel through disappointments, rejection, and heartbreak, pursuing that which we feel worthy of. These pains awaken us to the fortitude we possess, making the manifestation of our goals that much more visible. We chase what we feel is deserved with abandon, and create opportunities for obtaining a small piece of this beautiful cosmic rock. Out of necessity, and sometimes desperation, we conjure our reality in alchemic ways.

I will admit that I did not take enough chances on myself this year. I allowed familial obligations, emotional and physical fatigue, and guilt douse my fire and consequently paid an evolutionary price. I took on the responsibility of mothering children that aren’t mine, which is habitually the case in African families, and it all proved detrimental to my holistic progress. This is in no way an admission of regret; it is rather recognition that after 10 years, it is high time I place myself as the first item on my priority list. It is acknowledgement of my need to be more intimate with myself on all levels. My career, art, health, and Magick deserve more of me. So mote it be.

2019, I bid you well. Thank you for being 365 moments of smiles, laughs, tears, and a whole ass book of lessons. You are the realest.

2020, I welcome you. I am The Evolving Goddess. I am guided and protected by my Ancestors. I am a powerful Alchemist in all realms, and what I speak is. I am that I Am, a celestial being dwelling in duality, a Sacred Original Wombman. I come from the bosom of the Divine.

And to you, the beautiful God/Goddess reading this, thank you for being here. This is both an introduction and invitation to the forever filled corridors of my mind. I seek to narrate all aspects of my Venusian existence in ways that’ll entertain, educate, challenge, and encourage. I hope to create a platform where you’ll feel comfortable to share in this sensual experience.

Ride with me!

© 2019 The Evolving Goddess

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